Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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