My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
