i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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