ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
