i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize