I puked a lego.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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