So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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