I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
