My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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