Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
