Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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