nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I want her autograph on my taint
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
