just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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