Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you win again, gameday.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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