Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
