I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize