Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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