he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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