He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
