i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have demons in me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
