hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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