sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize