He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
