Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Me too!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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