At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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