Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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