Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
