On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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