Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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