so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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