Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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