wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
