Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
