I love black thongs
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
what day is it and did you see me today?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
