yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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