Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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