I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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