I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
