who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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