You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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