I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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