Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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