I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize