i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
