'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There r osticjed everywhere
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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