hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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