Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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