What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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