I hope mine doesn't look like that
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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