jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
