I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize