We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This baby is an asshole
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
