areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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