What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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