I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
