WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We are two peas in an std pod
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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