im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
