It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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