Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am spending my child support on dildos
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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