I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
