and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
