their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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